By Loni Wise Reiki Master
Seemed that this last week insisted on acknowledgement of the shadow energy, and on a deeper level of understanding at its core. Dreams this last week have been extremely telling of where I hold back and how I invest in the stories I tell myself. There were a couple mornings I woke up imagining situations I was going to be in through the week and feeding the negativity about what they would say and how I would react. All about me, none of it in full truth of those others or my own feelings. I began to see the virtual prisons I keep myself in; how even though I see that I can leave, I choose to stay, fearful of the trouble I might get in if I leave and continuing to ignore that it is (was) my own illusion. There is brilliance in all of this story telling, I was able to SEE where I am cutting myself short and how to shut down the fears when they arise. I could FEEL how quickly one breath allowed me to pull back the raging emotions and dissolve them before I reacted. All of this, continuing a year of expansion that will shift the ways in which I am spirit.
For those of you who like to create stories in your mind about how some of your life will play out, the places you’ll go, people you’ll see and conversations that will happen, you probably notice that it rarely goes the way you have imagined it. This being the case for you, last week may have offered you an opportunities to “story it up”. You might have found yourself sitting in thought imagining all of the things someone was going to say to you, and plotting out your witty and harshly truthful reactions. Then after you’ve played it out in your mind, the guilt began to flow in, flooding the heart with judgement and sadness for your wicked mind. Believe it or not, this is a shadow cycle; a way for your “trunk-monkey mind” to sweep you up and take you for a delusional, emotional trip into a space of non-truth.
The cycle itself may be or feel different for each of you however the outcome is the same. Guilt…Judgement…Self-deprecation. The most common reaction to this behavior is to get angry, questioning: “How could I possibly be thinking these nasty things to say or do to someone else??” Here is where it gets interesting, the next reaction is to immediately shut it down and spring right into the positive feelings even if they aren’t quite ready. This is your mind allowing that shadow cycle to continue. Recognize that you are spirit living a short time in a human vessel and you will have the “human tendencies” of ugly thoughts. This is because your ego mind allows space for it in the law of opposites, which states that for every negative there is a positive. In this truth your heart can rest knowing that the positive is there but it is crucial to give the negative energy time to dissipate. SEE the emotional fear that is underneath the ugly. Are you feeling pain or hurt around the way you have been treated, for example, and is this the silent response you are toting around with you that never gets expressed? See it for what it is because once you break down the pieces of the negativity, you are clearing the path of pain and opening up to being free of it. Sit in the anger, the fear, or the pain until you can see where it stems from and know that this is where the true healing begins.
When the healing of hurts began, there was also an opportunity to see the prisons you keep yourself in. It is the idea that a full grown horse is tied to a plastic chair in the pasture and won’t move because it has been made to believe that the chair is holding it there. Seems silly and this is a truth for many people, however, last week you may have felt a little clarity about where you hold yourself back from people or experiences in life. As you allow yourself the truth and embody it, you understand that anything less than that is a prison to keep yourself in. You see it out in the world every day with people who stay at jobs, in relationships, etc., which they are not truly happy in. Maybe you are one of these people AND YOU CAN CHANGE IT!! Look at what locks you up, sense the walls of fear that you are being confined by and SEE beyond them. Once you realize they are an illusion of your “trunk-monkey mind” you will be able to pass through them for good.
As we are coming into the last months of the calendar year, the pressure in the pot will begin a boil the energies holding on and weighing you down. Give it all permission to evaporate, let it boil to the core so that you are able to begin again. Sometimes expansion is in the tearing down of what is not truth.
Much Love Friends!!