By Loni Wise Reiki Master
Back in the fire again. Flames changing colors so fast which is a good sign that this will surely burn to such a heat that nothing will be left. I have though this many times this year, excited to feel the heat pass and for life to cool down. Then as I turn to embark on the next journey…BAM…a spark to ignite the hot coals of another burning path to walk. The funny thing is, this is the awakening I have asked for (said with a strong eye roll and a giggle). This is the path required to walk in order to find the element I have been missing within my spiritual growth and expansion. All of these “challenges” are moving along the path with me in order to break down the old patters of energy that are no longer necessary for the next realm of existence. I am someone who has lost herself throughout life, by putting others before her in such a capacity that I completely removed myself from the equation and decided that as long as others are happy, I can be happy. I abandon myself. I was conscious to this behavior until a few weeks ago and I can tell you that this, by far, is the most challenging thing I have encountered this year…maybe ever. Expansion doesn’t come without growing pains and the glorious realization that it is in fact the Pain that moves out when clarity moves in.
One thing about this process that is so very important to understand is that you are not alone, in fact, you are NEVER alone. No matter what your spiritual belief system is, you have beings around you, looking out for you and your best interests of heart and body. It is the mind that plays tricks on you. So if you have ever been in a situation where, for example, you were going to purchase something you really wanted and once you get there, see it, feel it, know it, you put it back and walk out empty handed only to arrive home and feel the sadness that it should have come home with you, then you know the games that the mind plays. Now this is not to say that you can go spend beyond your means because you want something. This is to offer a simple comparison of the idea that the mind, for whatever reason, took you out of your heart’s desire and put you into fear mode and you abandoned yourself in the process. When you come back to the truth in the heart, this is where you fully embrace the vibration of who you are. The practice here is to sink back into the heart space when the mind has you spinning in chaos. The heart will embrace the chaos and shift it into quiet peacefulness so you can feel clearly how to honor you.
Somedays it may feel so easy to go with the flow of the crowd and easy feels good, like less work and confrontation. The truth of this is that sometimes you may find yourself going with the flow of others more frequently than you would like to because it is “no big deal”. Well to those who do this a lot, know that you are, in fact, abandoning yourself to please others. It becomes easy for you to allow, and allow, and allow until you have completely discounted your ability to speak up and say what your truth is, even if it will not change the outcome. In some ways this would sound like settling for less than you desire. In some ways this may sound like behavior where someone else would say, “Stop being so dramatic”, or something similar. At the end of the day, you have to go home and live with your choices. As someone who has made a life of being a giant container to hold others, having to make decisions feels a little like Frodo trying to carry the ring through Mordor without being seen by the Eye of Sauron…treacherous. The beauty in all of this is that once you are able to see, to truly see from your heart the mind cannot resist the path. It seems that the heart will build trust with the mind and the mind will allow surrender, and this is where balance and clarity are created.
How to get there is always the pinch. You can begin with easy practices of going back to re-discover what foods YOU love, what fabrics feel sensual, soft, desirable, etc. to YOU, what colors inspire YOUR heart to beat a little stronger. Beginning with these more simple vibrations can allow you to take it all in stride so that when the more important things come along, you are prepared to sit with your heart and choose the best thing for YOU, even if the world doesn’t understand.
Much love darlings!