By Loni Wise Reiki Master
Feeling so much better last week, from the previous week, even though I recognize there was more tears and release. It is an incredible sensation to find yourself beyond the space of the churning, that energy can feel like, when I am navigating emotional waters without wind to activate my sails. When there is no wind (energy movement) it feels as if I may never move again. As if I am not in motion so I begin to feel as if I am without my bearings to see, feel, and know who I am and where I am going. Much to the pleasure of my raw heart, I found the energy begin to move through and there were many, many tears falling this last week. Tears that would not be denied as I fell apart Saturday night and cried for a long time before finally falling asleep. What a brilliant release to experience such raw and untapped emotion that had been building for months. There was also a very true reality that I was downloading again and this download, much like the others, was “upgrading my software” and speeding up the pace of my awakening. Very differently from some of the other downloads though, I was experiencing an expansive awareness of deepened communication, as if there were doors opening to other realms of experience. There were moments where this felt a bit un-nerving or even startling and there were also moments that felt soft and vulnerable. The balance this required was a huge piece of how I managed to navigate these new places.
Squatting in still water can be a tremendous burden to bear and can feel so heavy. Eventually when that pressure builds, it grabs much of the buried emotional stores you keep within you, tapping into the depths of your pain, your fear, and your resistance to move forward. Any one of these places you keep can be intense to find release by themselves and all of them releasing together can feel like a battle you must survive. This becomes the realization, the point where you begin to understand that the feelings and emotional things you bury, will at some point arise and potentially at the most inopportune time. You also see that God, Source, Universe, Divine Connection, or whatever you call it for yourself, is asking you to embrace a true piece of yourself and will not allow you wait any longer, as this release is propelling you to the next level of your spiritual experience.
You are no longer able to deny your truth. Your resistance to facing the pain and fear is broken down in a way that is almost painful, physically, emotionally, spiritually, to deny. This can result in the sudden urge to cry or breakdown, short tempered anger and lashing out, head cold, muscle aches, injury, losing keys, dropping and breaking your phone, and these are only a few of the ways you may have responded to resisting your truth. When you do not allow yourself to see the truth as you sit upon the edge of transition, you spend all of your energy fighting something which will eventually move through, whether you like it or not. Beautifully, as you see/feel this resistance happening, you have the opportunity to step back and face what is arising. If you can focus your energy on opening your heart to welcome the pain or fear to release, you begin to find yourself in the flow again, inviting new energy and experiences to move through you without it getting caught up in the stories you allowed yourself to believe for such a long time.
The result of diving off the edge back into the flow of things is a pretty freeing experience. That freedom is present and can be experienced on every level of your being. In some cases you may experience what is called an Enlightenment or a great awakening of consciousness felt throughout the body, mind and being. You may also experience more subtle opening of freedom with flow financially, or with your job, or within your spiritual practice or offering. Whatever your freedom looks like, it will be the start of a journey that has potential to take you everywhere you are meant to go. This is the result of welcoming in the balance if yin and yang, light and shadow, feminine and masculine, pleasure and pain. Embrace it like a Jedi and find your balance with the Force.